When Breath Becomes Air

"At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a naïve medical student "possessed," as he wrote, "by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life" into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir."

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I would give this book a ★★★★☆. After seeing it on Instagram as May's book of the month in Jenn Im's book club (Curl Up Club) and talking to Caroline about it, I decided to read this after I finished The Handmaid's Tale. Thankfully, there was still a copy available on the Libby app, which is an app where you utilize your library card to borrow ebooks and digital audiobooks from a public library. I was able to finish this novel on my Kindle in a few sitting and it was a pretty quick read. Definitely a page turner. 

This memoir was beautifully written and made me have a new appreciation for neurosurgeons. Prior to reading, I knew what I was getting myself into and was prepared to be devastated. And I did end up crying. Not coming from a medical background myself, I found myself having a hard time understanding some of the medical terminologies used in the book. But that did not take away from the memoir at all and the struggles that Paul had to go through. At times, I kind of wished Paul would talk more about how his life is aside from striving to complete his residency. Like life with his wife, family, and friends and how that contributed to him having a meaningful life.

The book started with a Foreword written by Abraham Verghes, which was a bit strange for me since he didn't seem to have a close personal connection with Paul. It just lacked depth and that personal connection. For me personally, I think that someone else should've written it, maybe his parents, siblings or his best friends. Conversely, I loved the epilogue written by his wife, Lucy. She did an amazing job summarizing Paul's journey and expressed it very eloquently. It added an additional layer to Paul's story and I appreciated that since she played such an important role in Paul's life. It was probably my favorite part of the book.

"Because the brain mediates our experience of the world, any neurosurgical problem forces a patient and family, ideally with a doctor as a guide, to answer this question: What makes life meaningful enough to go on living?"

This was a very memorable quote from the book. I have always and still am searching for meaning in life and while reading, it really made me reflect on my own life. The book really highlights how fragile life is and how quickly it can change. The path we have set up for ourselves is not guarantee  and we may end up being forced to take another due to unforeseeable circumstances. Which was exactly what happened to Paul. Nothing is permanent and it is important to live in the present because who knows how long we have left until death comes knocking on our door.

To finish off, here is my favorite quote from the book.

"Human knowledge is never contained in one person. It grows from the relationships we create between each other and the word, and still it is never completed"